How to support a mate at uni | Wellbeing Week 2025
The friends you make at uni often become mates for life. You experience a lot together, from exploring the best spots in a new city to completing all-nighters at the library. Amidst all this, there may come a time when a friend needs support – maybe they’ll speak to you directly about it or you’ll notice something’s up.
Why would a mate need support?
Going to uni can be exciting. You’re moving away from home, making friends and trying new things. But these are pretty big changes and adjusting to them can be unsettling. There’s a lot to do, from meeting deadlines and attending 9am lectures to keeping on top of day-to-day tasks like cooking and washing.
New stressors at uni can cause or worsen mental health issues. A recent report says 61% of uni students suffer with anxiety, and many aren’t happy with the mental health support provided by their unis, so it’s useful to know how you can help your friends.
Why would they come to me?
Studies have shown that uni students rely most heavily on friends for support. This makes sense, as living away from home means friends become more like family, which builds the closeness and trust needed to open up. Sharing with friends may also feel like an easier step than sharing with uni wellbeing teams, so don’t be surprised if a mate comes to you first.
Signs to look out for
If a friend doesn’t talk about it, you may not know they’re struggling. UCAS and charity YoungMinds suggest some signs you can look out for, such as:
- Isolating themselves
- Saying no to usual activities
- Losing concentration or motivation
- Appearing quieter than usual
- Changing their sleeping pattern
- Changing their eating habits
There could be other clues, so YoungMinds recommends that you trust your instincts and check up on a friend if you think they’re acting differently.
How to support your mate
Our partner Student Minds gives useful advice in their Look After Your Mate guide to help you support a friend in need and be the best mate you can be. It includes ways to cheer up a friend who’s struggling (e.g. cooking with them or having a movie night) and guidance for chatting about their wellbeing:
‘Don’t worry about not understanding everything that your friend is going through, or not knowing exactly the right thing to say. Try not to act shocked or surprised as this could make your friend feel uncomfortable. Don’t worry about giving advice - simply by giving your friend the opportunity to talk, you are showing them that they are not alone and that you are there for them.’ (Student Minds, Look After Your Mate guide)
For more information, including what to do in a crisis and how to support a friend who wants to drop out of uni, read the full guide or visit the Student Minds website.
How to look after yourself
It’s important to maintain your own wellbeing when looking out for friends. Keep up with your usual hobbies – iQ Clubs and onsite events are great ways to stay connected – and find your own support if you need it. You can also suggest your friend speaks to someone else if you’re finding it difficult to help them.
Find out more
For further wellbeing info, look at the Student Minds website. iQ also partner with Headspace, the meditation and mindfulness app, and Shout, a free and confidential 24/7 text messaging service you can use if you’re struggling. At sites, we have designated Feel Good Ambassadors, who are always happy for a chat and can point you towards the right support.
